I probably won't be blogging much for a little while. I am spending far too much time in the left side of my brain to have anything left over to blog about. I am preparing to go to an ASCAP conference http://www.ascap.com/expo/ I am guaranteed 15 minutes one-on-one with someone in the industry. There are industry giants there. Chances are, I'll be paired with an industry janitor; but still I want to be ready for my 15 minutes of fame. I've had a lot of opportunities in my life, and the only ones I regretted were the ones I was not prepared for, not the ones I prepared for and failed. So, I'm doing my homework. When I first realized I would be doing this, I felt like the 5th string quarter back sitting on the bench eating chocolates all year who in the big game of the season gets called off the bench in the 3rd down of the fourth quarter of the last 2 minutes of the game. I am not in shape, I so wish I could call in a stunt double! I look like somebody's mom for goodness sakes! My songs are all scattered in notebooks and brief cases all over the house. What was I thinking?! Yet, I know I may never get the right combination of circumstances at the right time; with my husband laid off from his job and the volume turned up on my "restless-wondering-if-there-is-more-I-should-be-doing", all converging at once. So, I have to try to wipe the chocolate off my face, put my helmet on and run on out to LA. It's kind of fun. I am making a demo of my songs so I am hunting down a fair sampling of my music from God knows where I had it last. I am surprised at how disorganized I am with something that was once so important to me. That same thought comes to mind when I look in the mirror. I thought not spending money or time we did not have on myself was a virtue. It may be virtuous, but it looks like frump. So, I'll have to go to the groomers too. Then there is the whole headshot/resume thing. All this for 15 minutes. Most likely I will sit in front of this professional, trying not to pee on myself, talking manically about my cat and the drive over and the cute thing my baby did that morning and before I know it, the time will be up and I will take my unopened brief case home. BUT no matter what happens, I am glad I am showing up to see it. If I go back on the bench after having been in the game, even if I don't win the game ball or score a touchdown for team Enders, I'll probably enjoy the game a lot more with the perspective of all that I learned playing it for even a little while. Besides, the good news about the bench is that everyone I love is on it with me and it's the best seat in the stadium. So, no matter what happens, I win. AND my music will be organized, my frump will be polished and I won't wonder what would have happened if I had been brave enough to play.
Recent Comments