The week my dog, "Pretty," went missing, our friends' son, Carson, also went missing. She was a 4-year-old Yorkiepoo. He was a 23-year-old ski instructor. While I was desperately searching for my dog, they were searching for their son. I felt frantically connected by a desperate search. A constant prayer of "Let us find them." "Lead us to them," was on my heart, even while I slept. We never found our dog. Tragically, their worst fears were realized when they found Carson's body in the frozen snow of the back of the mountain he had been skiing.
On St. Patrick's day, a friend of mine from my home town shared a startling Facebook post: "Stop what you are doing and pray right now!" I did! Then her profile picture changed to her son, a handsome boy in his 20s. I began praying more urgently and specifically. As a parent of young adults, I have posted enough of my own cryptic prayer requests with clues, so I knew what I was looking at.
The next post was that her son had flown from Ohio to San Francisco and was missing. I have a friend who lost her daughter to the bridge. I know that the Golden Gate bridge has become a romanticized symbol for suicidal individuals. I am very sad to say that is how my friend's beautiful son, Taylor, lost his life.
I have prayed and cried and watched these mommas grieve, feeling helpless and desperate for them. I don't know how to get through times like this. I only know how to pray, so I did.
Taylor's family started a Facebook page called "Paying forward for Taylor" (PFFT). Every day I have watched friends and loved ones go to the page to share the stories of their kind gestures, big and small, done in Taylor's honor. It has been uplifting. I've followed Taylor nudges when choosing my own PFFTs.
This brings me to yesterday. There was a celebration for our friends' son, Carson. His memorial service was like his life—AMAZING! That boy did more living in 24 years than most 90-year-olds have done. It was heartbreaking to see so many of his loved ones lost without him;
however, the music chosen and performed by Elephant Revival and other wonderful musicians, and the life he led, told by his friends and family, made it impossible to think anything other than that he conquered this level and had flown on to the next grand adventure.
When Stevie Wonder, a family friend, spoke before singing his song, you could have heard a pin drop. I loved hearing his music, as always, but the words he spoke were sacred. He spoke of his friends, the legends who have passed this year, and of course didn't leave out Prince OR Carson. He saw them as having been sent, as a gift, to teach us to love more and be kinder. I was too caught up in the moment to recall it verbatim. (I'm hoping a video exists). But my sense was, "Of course they had to go. Aren't we blessed that they came?"
Throughout the entire ceremony, I felt like I was honoring Taylor as well as Carson. I kept thinking "Oh this song would be such a comfort to his family...." I was determined to get a video, if one exists, or at least find the songs online to share with my friend.
After the ceremony, I was surprised to see Stevie was hanging around and there were lines of people wanting to talk with him. It occurred to me to wait so I could tell him how his words touched me and maybe get a picture for PFFT, but it seemed awkward. I don't like doing that kind of thing. I prayed, "God, if you need me to get something for Ginny, please work that out." Just then, Stevie got up and left, so I figured that was that.
As we were saying goodbye to our friends, paying our respects and telling them how much we appreciated the ceremony, they said, "We knew that being a musical family, you would love the musicians!" They then turned to my son, a 20-year-old music major, and said, "Did you meet Stevie?" When he said he hadn't, they said "Well he is right over there! Go introduce yourself!"
Now we HAD to do it. It would have been rude NOT to! As we were standing there waiting for him to be free, I watched him. He was patiently doing the selfie shuffle I've seen so many celebrities do. But he had such charisma, it seemed out of place somehow—like getting your picture taken with Mother Teresa or Ghandi.
Suddenly, he broke away from a "fan" to speak to a young woman in a wheel chair. He must have known she was coming, because he knew her back story.
I couldn't help but overhear (because I was leaning in straining my ears to do so!); I didn't catch it all, but part of what he said was something close to, "I know this was an accident, but not to God. My blindness was an accident, but God wanted to use it to show the world that He can still do great things through me. And that is what you should look for. That is what God can do for you!"
Then it was my turn. I would love to write about my poise and composure—musician to musician—but there was some babbling...okay a lot of babbling...and it wasn't coming from Stevie Wonder. That's what I do when I like someone. My words jump up out of me and onto you like a big eager dog with both paws to pin you down and lick you all over your stunned face.
But here's the thing—he got it. ALL of it! Like the musician he is, he thought, "OK cool. We are playing in this key. I can do that...." I told him how much I loved his music. "But I had expected to love it...I have always loved your music...but what blew me away were the words you spoke...." (At this point we had our arms around each other). I told him about my friend and how I was going to tell her what he said. He squeezed harder and turned closer and said emphatically, "YES! Tell her that!"
Then I blurted a thing about "Paying forward for Taylor". He said, not at all suspiciously, but for clarity, "Paying what?" And I explained it again. I said, "Can I take a picture for her?" He said, "OF COURSE!" As I was getting in the selfie position, I suddenly realized it was dumb for me to be in the picture. "But I want a selfie, too," I thought, "but I don't want him to have to pose for two of them...mine's not what's important here..." Because I can't have any unvoiced thoughts, I said, "This is dumb of me to be in this...well, I guess I'm standing in for my friend..."
Then HE said, "Can we make her a video?!" (OH MY GAWD, OH MY GAWD!!!!) I wish I had gotten off "selfie" mode, because I seem kind of ridiculously out of place in that video and I completely lost track of the selfie age-defying, chin-reducing angle.
His willingness to open his heart and let love lead, made that hallowed ground. And I feel changed by it. I woke up this morning feeling like Carson, Taylor, my children, all my loved ones past and present, Prince, and even my little lost dog, "Pretty," are in God's loving hands and part of a divine story, in which we are all blessed to be starring.
http://fox40.com/2016/04/24/memorial-celebration-for-s
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