My problem with this movie, as with much of life is... my age. Just as when I read the "Twilight" series, though a part of me could remember how it felt to not know things and just enjoy the sensual aspects of the story, I can NOT let go of all the lessons I have learned the hard way. In the case of "Twilight" - self loathing is no reason to let a boy suck on your neck and make you wish you were dead, no matter how shiny he is in the sun. In "Eat, Pray, Love" I could not help but think about how much money it would take to bankroll her Spiritual journey. I hate to admit that I have become that left brained, and certainly my right brain would gladly take a stipend to see if these results are repeatable; but I suspect the deepest spiritual journeys are not begun with a HUGE budget. When it came to articulating the spiritual truths she had discovered along the way, I felt they just skimmed the foam off of the top of these beautiful locations then served it up with a hefty portion of cliche.
But the real issues, lest I also be guilty of the skimming, are mine. I just don't believe in the world that was painted with such broad brush strokes. Like the character, Liz, I have prayed the fervent prayer that started her whole ball rolling. I think most of us, if we are honest and brave enough to admit it, have prayed that prayer: "Our Father who art in heaven, GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" But I got a different answer than she did (and it would have been a much different movie):
"Stay". Not just the polite, spiritual reminder to "Be still and know that I am God"; but that clear and simple Master to Fido: "STAY!" So I stayed and waited for God to come to His senses. I recommended that He check out a few movies and self help books I had read on the subject. Going is very popular.
But I have to wonder, what ever happened to stay? My parents stayed. And what I have discovered by staying...is that for me "staying when you don't feel like it" is where the REAL journey begins! (Talk about your "Eat, pray, love"! Anything to get you through a day! Though it was more like, "eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, pray, eat, pray, pray, pray, PRAY!" and eventually..."love"...after I had exhausted all other avenues of escape). When the going gets tough...it is so tough not to get going! Staying is not for sissies. Staying is not sexy. Staying is not exciting, exotic, or fashionable. But in the staying, I have found hidden treasures in surprising places. I have found strength in my weakest hour and patience when the well was dry. And I have learned that the well is NEVER really dry. Real love is a free refill in a bottomless glass. But sometimes you have to take a sip before you realize just how thirsty you were...and how satisfying even a sip can be.
I promised to blog about homeschooling, not marriage and movies. So I will try to tie it all together. Today my high schooler and I began classes at the community college. I am filled with excitement at the prospect of being "forced" to be around musicians every day. I would not have gone to a community college to find musicians (considering I already have a Bachelor's from one of the leading music schools in the world for what that's worth), but it just happens to be the perfect place for my pianist/composer son. Since he is a freshman in highschool, I thought it best to go through it with him til he gets his own two feet wet enough to stand on. So we are bonding, we are mutually musically growing, AND I still get good Mom points even though there is definitely a lot in it for me! This is a nurturing environment of very caring, capable professionals. That is a change of pace from the place I attended when my pace was fast and furious. So what I did, motivated for him, benefited me (that seldom works vice-versa). And that's not all. It just so happens going to a movie was the perfect reward to my daughter for babysitting. We bonded, talked about life, and saw a movie I wanted to see as much as she did, and I still got good Mom points for doing so!
Some days just work out like that. What I want and what they need are in alignment. This was not a day that required much patience or imagination to see the prize inside of the box of duty flakes.* These days can be few and far between at times. On an "award winning day" like today, it makes it easier to see the prize in all areas of my life.
For instance, I came home from the movie and looked past the DEVASTATED kitchen and cluttered family room, to find my husband, worn out from weeks and weeks of 14 hour day after 14 hour day. I can not tell you how sexy it is to see a drooling man who has sacrificed his last drop of energy, trying to stay awake to watch a little "Star Wars" with his sons (one of whom had never seen it). Talk about heroic! I am SURE he wanted to come home and retreat to bed, but when his boys asked him to watch a movie he has seen a zillion times..he stayed in their room and he TRIED to stay awake!
This is not my most exciting blog entry. This is not my most exciting day. But it is a day, like so many others, where I am completely in touch with how full I am. As usual - I ate, prayed, loved and stayed...close to HOME!
*Duty flakes: Not to be confused with "dooty flakes". The only prize you get in THAT box is the message "this too shall pass",
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