I can't believe how great I feel. I am still kicking butt with workouts and have easily given up all the sweet/carby things that used to get me through a day before I found an anti-inflammatory that made my back stop hurting enough for me to live kind of a normal life. I am praying this will last!
It is amazing - I have been in so much pain for so long, it is like a weight has been lifted from me. If you walk around with an anvil on your head for long enough you kind of forget that you didn't always have an anvil on your head. You actually start thinking that everyone else has an invisible anvil on their heads too and that if they can do XYZ, then you should too. (of course by "you" I mean "I". I hope you don't do that, cause it is not a nice thing to do to yourself).
Without the anvil, all of a sudden I am getting creative projects coming in and I am not flinching as I ask to be paid and those are leading to other paying creative projects. I am planning new creative ventures and celebrating my creative friends who are having BIG creative adventures without even the slightest sadness that maybe I should be trying harder or doing more to be allowed to "play in that sandbox". I know my turn will come, and if it doesn't that's ok cause, well, I don't have an anvil on my head.
I am enjoying my kids and we are actually contemplating buying our big house (this is just a sudden happy possibility and not necessarily related to the anvil coming off my head). If we don't buy it, well, that's ok. I don't have an anvil on my head. All of a sudden, hard or boring work that comes along with life is not heroic to accomplish, it's just something I have to do.
My husband and I have been trying out new dance steps in our marriage. Sometimes there can be perks to having a wife underneath an anvil. Of course he would never admit it, and I know he is glad I am out of pain. But I am probably a bigger pain in the ass to him now that I don't have an anvil on my head. There were times in our marriage, I thought all I was was one big anvil. I felt sorry for him and I did not require as much of him. I think he felt sorry for me and overlooked things that a woman with an anvil could never pull off. This sort of twisted Gift of the Magi romance is almost sweet...if it weren't so twisted. Without the anvil I am getting my head on straighter. Hopefully that means we'll both be lighter on our feet in this crazy dance.
In general, hard times are still hard but not too hard. Good times are even better and gratitude is flowing freely as I notice all the small ways I can live and breathe better not looking at life through anvil colored glasses. I am able to enjoy more hours in every day without paying for it the next three days. I can only imagine what I will do with all this extra time I have. Maybe I'll buy a hat.