There are just times when life is to be gotten through and not reflected upon. This would be one of those times. And yet - I feel it is my duty to do both always.
I can't say much right now, but I will tell you at least that having made a trip to the hospital to care for my oldest son who was in an accident confirmed my belief that there are only two types of people who work in the hospital - saints and assholes.
In order to care for people in need and do what the job requires you have to be a saint. If you are anything else or are there for any other reason, then you are an asshole. (And stand out like a sore thumb..up your ass). (I am breaking my rule to try not to swear when I blog in case kids are reading).
I don't have anything profound to write about yet but I feel like I have to tell you something.
1) I can tell you what you already know - friends and family are priceless and life is precious. Nothing else matters.
2) I can tell you that sometimes it seems life just gets harder and harder and harder and harder until you bounce back. I bounce farther the harder the surface it seems.
3) I can tell you that it is a good thing I stopped using pain meds a while ago cause I love and need my whole brain just to get my mind off of the pain.
4) I can tell you that all pain sucks (but then I guess you knew that too).
5) I can tell you that "Sunshine On My shoulder" can be a great song for a memorial service. My friend's mother passed and requested it. (I thought it was dumb). I had the flu and my usual back/sciatica and some hard stuff I am not talking about going on in my life and I got asked to sing "Sunsine on my Shoulder" the day before the service. She said she wanted an upbeat song since her mom had a wicked sense of humor. I suggested, "Everything's coming up roses", or "You don't bring me flowers". She said her mom would want that one. That meant I had to learn it and play it on the guitar (not my best instrument). But when life is hard everything else is easy. So I did it. With the exception of a B minor chord that I only nailed about half the time it did not suck too bad to obscure the moment. It was an intimate outside service with pink balloons to release at the end. It was lovely in a home spun "just right" sort of way, and the profound gift of a funny dead woman wishing all these crying people a funny story and a sunny day and a song that made them feel just like they were feeling while I was butchering it is hard to put into words. So I won't.
That is all I have to say for now and also how grateful I am that so far what I believe to be true is still true - even in the hardest times and scariest moments there is ALWAYS something to hang on to, Someone to believe in, and eventually find to laugh about (even if that last one takes a while to show up).