I have been following the writer's strike closely for the past few minutes.
I am concurrently negotiating my rights away in a new online project because I like the guy who hired me, I like the project, I like writing and I like to have a little money now as opposed to covering my butt (a tall or at least wide order) for the future.
Recently I took a personality/skills profile to help my husband and I bridge the great divide between our two worlds. It is something he does for his employees and I thought it might help us. Well, he is a VP for a Money related firm. I scored off the charts below ("extreme" was the word they used) for not caring about money or utilitarian concerns. Houston, we have a problem! (Why does everyone tell Whitney Houston when they have a problem? No wonder she's a mess. That's a lot of pressure).
One reason they sited for this score was that I was already wealthy beyond my wildest dreams, the high-up-on-Maslov's-hierarchy-of-needs-ladder logic. I have heard this psychology before. The idea is that you meet your needs in a linear fashion with food at the bottom and sketching fruit at the top. I think that is bunk. If you want more money you always want more money. If you want to sketch fruit, you want to sketch with an empty or full belly (I have not tested this theory. I don't know what an empty belly is). I was poor, really poor, once upon a time. I did not open my bills cause I did not have any money. Instead I played the piano (given to me by a friend) and sang and wrote songs until I felt better about myself even though I was poor. That problem was solved that way back then. That is just how I cope on every rung of the ladder. In fact, the more stressed out I get the more metaphorical fruit I sketch.
Maybe it's because I am "Just a girl" tee hee! Well, whatever it is, I is. The few times in my life I REALLY wanted money cause I REALLY wanted a house, I relied on prayer and magical thinking. I think that if I am willing to go to the extreme edge of mental stability just to avoid the subject, it is safe to say finance and econ. is not my strongest subject.
And so once again I find myself doing things that in the long run might make someone else rich. I have had issues with this in the past and even contracts and lawyers that proved my "rightness" but I did not have the energy to expend claiming my stakes. There were new shiny things I wanted to write about or do.
Why on earth would I tell you, whoever you are, (turns out you are NOT just my mother and one of my most favorite high school teachers)? Apparently, some site or other is pinging my blog and getting money. It's not you reading me and it is not me getting ad money for you reading me. That was explained to me by my brilliant 20 year old who knows everything (I know they all think that, only this kid really does). That is why he told me "bots" are hitting my site. I did not even know what a bot was, bot I like the idea of some robot laughing his bot off at my antics. My son told me I should just accept the new reality and that nothing an artist does is "theirs" anyway (OK, maybe that was not what he was saying, he lost me when he started trying to explain how it all worked and using numbers and letters in the same word).
I don't know what any of this means for my blog and all the other stuff I do for free. I don't know what this means for the contract I am about to sign or any of the old contracts I should not have signed. I write for free anyway. It's just lately people have wanted to read it and some even want to pay me for it. I know I have made myself very vulnerable to the robot producers who are scrambling for writers who will not strike. In fact, my husband suggested it might be a good time to try to make my mark in a bigger way. Yes, that's just how I want to start my career, as a scab.
I think that the fact that I get to sing and make people laugh and play with my kids and write stuff that my mom and my high school teacher read is probably the pay off I am getting for what I am doing. Sure I would love to be big and famous. (I have settled for big). I'd love to be rich if that would make my kids happier (but it does not seem to be something they care about too much) or if it would make my husband work less (no real evidence that would occur, though it might make him work differently). If I could make enough money to buy the things that I am insecure about not being or having I would have to grow new insecurities and that would take time away from writing about the ones I am obsessing about at the moment.
So, maybe writing about this is bad business and bad karma and bad parenting/wiving/grown-upping. Maybe I am just a sponge on society and a drain on the system (either way there will be less liquid for the rest of the world). I just don't "get this" stuff and feel like joining my writers' union or registering my music with the union I did join is harder to do than I am able to make time to procrastinate doing.
SO my pen cap is off to those striking workers cause at least they have a job to not do to protest the money they are getting! Maybe they will pave the way for the other future writer strikers like me! (Or maybe some boty or other will read this blog and give me their jobs and I can pretend I did not know better cause truth be told I don't).