I did not do well this week. I did not gain though. Shhhh....don't tell any body, especially my body. I am hoping that by doing South Beach induction phase Monday I can trick it into letting go of 14 pounds by Christmas. If that doesn't work, I'll probably have an arm removed. I WON'T be defeated and cheat myself out of that dangling carrot of $1,500. My priorities are a bit off, wouldn't you say?
I must admit my resolve is a little shaken since I am not sure that I got the terms right. Come on First Wife, tell me which hoop to jump through. Do you feel like Howard Stern? I am not ashamed to admit my complete and utter lack of dignity in the pursuit of a trip to see my parents. The end justifies the means, or in this case my rear end justifies the green beans...or something. And frankly, I would have to do this anyway and have been putting it off because there just was not enough of a shiny incentive to get off my butt and do something to get my butt off.
Even with the potential of $1,500, immediate gratification and food as pacifier, entertainer, and mood leveler is a powerful force to overcome. I guess what worries me is, will you all love me any less if I do not succeed in this endeavor? (What a silly question, how can you love me less if I am the same or more than when I started?) I guess I take that phrase too literally and believe firmly that less is more and vice-versa. Silly really. I know I do a lot of things really well that don't need to be done in a size 9 to be appreciated. I know that there are not that many of us who are a size 9 anymore except those who started out a size 5. But I still want to get back into the jeans I wore 4 babies ago. After all, isn't THAT the key to happiness? If so it's just such a shame that you have to open all these locked doors to get to the key. I even know that should I get that key, I will find that it was unlocking the doors and not the key that brought about health and healing, if not happiness. I suspect the actual attaining of the smaller me will be an added bonus but the journey is the reward. I used to be a 9 but wanted to be a 7 so I know there is nothing intrinsically magical about being a 9 unless the journey to 9 is worthwhile. Frankly I think an 11 would be fine with a good attitude and lifestyle and that is not such a far jump from where I am. I know I need to at least work on this and clean up a few mindless habits that have come to stay much longer than I would have imagined back when I was more worried about these things. I know what I need to do. But knowing and doing are too different things. And I am not doing what I know this week. I just hope that I can get away with it for a day or two. I know fat cells don't take sick days and don't take holidays off but maybe mine did this time cause I sure did.